I like to read a variety of blogs for a variety of reasons -- to laugh, to get to know someone better, to keep up with people, to learn new ways of doing things, to feel connected to other moms, or to read a word of encouragement.
But once in awhile after reading blogs we come away from feeling a little glum. Sometimes what we see makes us long for something -- to be that kind of mom, to live in that town, to have that relationship or vacation, couch or hair.
I purposefully don't blog about What's Really Going On if its deep, dark and depressing. I do talk to people I trust about those things, but its usually just not appropriate for shouting from the Internet mountaintops. Rightly so, most of us don't publicly post the heavier private issues that we're battling. Because of this, I worry sometimes about how blogs affect our outlook and moods.
I read an article today talking about the effect facebook has on how women feel about their own lives. Women often compare themselves to others -- I would say without even wanting to or trying to -- and research shows we tend to feel even worse when we think others are happier than us. Looking at others' cute pictures and happy stories makes us think that people are happier than they probably are. This researcher said people "were convinced that everyone else was leading a perfect life."
So when you read my blog, know that there is always a whole lotta stuff going on in my head, heart and my home. There are tender, sweet moments and ugly, angry moments. Loving affirmations and careless accusations, happy dreams and discouraging thoughts. Frequently I could post a cute quip about my kid or a serious struggle from my heart. If you really want a list of Andrea's Top Ten Problems, take me out for coffee (which I'm back on in full force) and I'll tell you all about it. In the meantime, I'm hoping to be as real as I can, while respecting the publicity of this forum.
But once in awhile after reading blogs we come away from feeling a little glum. Sometimes what we see makes us long for something -- to be that kind of mom, to live in that town, to have that relationship or vacation, couch or hair.
I purposefully don't blog about What's Really Going On if its deep, dark and depressing. I do talk to people I trust about those things, but its usually just not appropriate for shouting from the Internet mountaintops. Rightly so, most of us don't publicly post the heavier private issues that we're battling. Because of this, I worry sometimes about how blogs affect our outlook and moods.
I read an article today talking about the effect facebook has on how women feel about their own lives. Women often compare themselves to others -- I would say without even wanting to or trying to -- and research shows we tend to feel even worse when we think others are happier than us. Looking at others' cute pictures and happy stories makes us think that people are happier than they probably are. This researcher said people "were convinced that everyone else was leading a perfect life."
So when you read my blog, know that there is always a whole lotta stuff going on in my head, heart and my home. There are tender, sweet moments and ugly, angry moments. Loving affirmations and careless accusations, happy dreams and discouraging thoughts. Frequently I could post a cute quip about my kid or a serious struggle from my heart. If you really want a list of Andrea's Top Ten Problems, take me out for coffee (which I'm back on in full force) and I'll tell you all about it. In the meantime, I'm hoping to be as real as I can, while respecting the publicity of this forum.
2 comments:
It's definitely a balance, figuring out what to post and what to not. I've heard a few people say what you mentioned, that it's easy to see other's lives as perfect because on FB and blogs we typically post the fun, happy things. I've been trying to be more real about things lately, hopefully not stepping over the line, but feel like maybe now I have some experiences in things that might help encourage others in the future. That may be romaticizing some of the issues we're dealing with, but since I find encouragement with others blogs, hope that mine can do that for someone else sometime. Hugs to you, you have a wonderful blog and I know I can always come over here for a giggle. You have a really witty way of writing and I love to read the funny things going on at your house!
Wow. What a thoughtful, sincere and generous post. Personally, I truly appreciate it. You're right-we don't always post the harsh reality of our lives. I think its wise. Its hard to give the world insight into our deepest fears, most difficult moments, or hardest battles. But, if we really stop and think about, we know that everyone's life is not as rosy as the front they post on the internet. We know that the cute kids playing in the snow will come inside, leaving a trail of wet clothes, snow, snot and mayhem behind them. That's the way life is. I don't read your blog and feel like you have a perfect life. I read your blog and think-"I love that family!" "I sure miss those sweet little guys." And mostly, "I really wish I could hang out with you more often."
I must admit, for me, the internet brings about a lot of frustration. I've made a lot of choices for my life that go against the norm here-being a working mom, putting my kids in public school, moving my parents in with me during this hard time in their lives. When I see others extolling the wonderfulness of their choices, it hurts a little. Not because they are happy, but because it flies in the face of my decisions. Because I see them "having it all", even though I know they don't, and I want that to. But I know that its just a public face. I know they have private battles and heartaches, too, and I should pray for them, instead of being irritated.
Your post had perfect timing for me. Thank you. I think it will change my day today, and probably for much longer. I really appreciate you.
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